Finding the girl of your dreams is no easy task. For some reason it seems like a double edged sword; the dream vs. the responsibility. Unfortunately, for many the dream may sooner or later turn into a nightmare. Although it may not be in the plans, we may be asking for help and how to deal with a cheating spouse.

Most people are generally flawed in thinking that we can change a person when in fact we can’t. For some reason, a person with a cheating boyfriend thinks that he will be somehow miraculously reformed once he says “I do”. Nothing could be further from the truth. Not saying that people cannot change, but that people have to want to change.

So you’ve caught the love of your life cheating, what do you do now? Studies have shown that women will forgive a sexual affair easier than they will an affair of the heart. Others believe everyone deserves a second chance, that may lead to a third or fourth. No one can make up your mind for you.

The first step in the healing process is to sit down and talk as a couple. One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is to bring everyone else’s opinion into the situation, making the situation even worse. It is important to remember that you may not be satisfied with the answers you get, if any. Emotions will be running wildly when we are hurt so keep a level head and be willing to listen.

You have to really need to take time with yourself and think about what you want and expect for the future. Is it reasonable to believe the infidelities will never happen again? Be very clear that this problem will not be fixed over night; it may take years to heal that wound. The hurt is still going to be there no matter what you decide.

The loss of trust may be one of the highest hurdles as it will take a great deal of work to rebuild that trust. Once you have decided to forgive him for his indiscretions, it is not fair to continue to throw it in his face whenever he is late come home or doesn’t follow the “new rules”. The rebuilding of the relationship is a two way street; it is not the exclusive job of just one party to single handedly fix and mend the broken fences. It can be done, marriages can be saved, those that are worth saving, that is.